There are questions we all ask ourselves when faced with odd couples, but Michael is one of the few guys who actually has the nerve to ask them aloud.
Saturday, February 14
A.M.
Miami
Mutt and Jeff just walked by. I did not photograph them. People deserve their privacy. He was Mutt. She was Jeff. I’ve seen this before - just not this combination. I didn’t stare. But I did watch. The girl was, anyway, six feet two inches. Basketball type. Not an Amazon type. Way too skinny. More like an aspen in a thick stand at 10,000 feet elevation. No room to develop girth.
But the guy. The guy. Maybe five foot six. Shorter than I for sure and I’m about five eight. Hundred fifty pounds - that’s me. But this guy? Two fifty at least. Fifty inch waist.
Fifty inch everything. Fifty fifty fifty. Like an oversized custom made fire hydrant. Oddly, the guy was not flabby. Just, well, I think “stocky” is the word. And seriously weather worn. Like Jerky.
So anyway Jerky and Twiggy just walked by holding hands. Good deal. It’s Valentine’s Day. And this was a serious couple. A pair. They had the aura about them. They looked at each other as they spoke. Another good deal. But I couldn’t help but wonder. What on earth was the kiss like. Does the guy own a ladder? Does she have giraffe chops? Can she bend over so effortlessly? Is that the deal?
How did this happen? What was the attraction? Please, I don’t mean to sound judgmental here. I’m just having a hard time wrapping my brain around this. But in the end it’s a good deal seeing two people in love, no matter what their shapes or sizes. Especially today. Maybe they should invest in a couple of walkie talkies. I hear they’re not all that expensive. There are geographic issues here. Considerations.
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